We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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