i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Randomize
