But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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