No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
