I just cut my nipple shaving
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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