Whod you bang
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
