Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
