took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
