I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
