Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
