He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
