I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize