I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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