Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
