Girls should come with a carfax report
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
