I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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