i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
