he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The struggles of a small town man whore
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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