And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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