my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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