you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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