obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
