we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You smell like stripper and shame
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Randomize
