I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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