you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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