told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
