If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
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