loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Princesses don't give blow jobs
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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