I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I wanna passion pit in your ass
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
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