I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
PANTIES FOUND
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