THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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