fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
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