umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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