Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
