is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
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