hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize