We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
