The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Be still, my beating vagina.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
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