That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
