the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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