I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
