I want to make a zoo with you.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize