Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
