dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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