Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
