I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
