I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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