i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize