did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
