508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Drunk is a universal language darling
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
