I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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