I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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