I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
