4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
