nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
