My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
