Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
