Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
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